Posted by: awarenessarc | December 22, 2008

AN AGE OF FEAR

Pestilence was on its way to Damascus and sped by a chief’s caravan in the desert.

“Where are you are you speeding to?” asked the chief.

“To Damascus. I mean to take a thousand lives.”

On its way back from Damascus, Pestilence passed by the caravan again. The chief said, “It was 50,000 lives you took, not a 1000.”

“No,” said the Pestilence. “I took a thousand. It was Fear that took the rest.”

(Anthony de Mello: Prayer of the Frog, Vol 2)

In the ongoing crisis in world financial markets, there is much that defies understanding and prognosis even of experts. But there is something that is obvious even to the most casual observer and that is the role of fear in the onset and continuation of the crisis.

This is no big secret. We have known all along that a reasonably healthy bank can hardly be ruined by robbers, regulators, natural calamities or even wars. But start a rumour, create fear among its customers, and the mightiest of banks built up over many years can be destroyed in a very short time.

While this applies to all aspects of life, the impact of fear on global trade and economy is there for all to see. There indeed are many other factors at work, but fear the affairs of human beings is pervasive. We saw its impact in the depression in America starting in 1929. We saw its effects in subsequent financial downturns.

While fear has such catastrophic impact, what actions do people take to reverse the situation or improve it? What are the steps taken to raise confidence levels? Initial actions frequently tend to be no more than reactions to a scary situation. We do something that may have worked in the past assuming that it should work is equivalent to flying a plane with last year’s weather chart. We forget that the situation here may be quite different and calls for other responses.

Actions taken in times of fear and under the impact of this powerful emotion tend to be blind and lead us into greater trouble. Panic reactions are not intelligent responses that are designed to yield positive outcome. They can only add more fuel to the fire. What people say and do from fear state obviously does not raise anyone’s confidence. Actions done in fear can only be reactions, never proactive steps that in fact address a situation appropriately.

To meet any situation adequately, we need clarity of perception. We need to see what is really going on. What prevents us from seeing with clarity? Obviously an emotional state like fear would be high on the list, followed closely by another called greed.

Problems are created and experienced at a certain level of consciousness. It is futile to look for solutions at the same level. One has to step aside, move beyond that state, to find positive and practical steps. That is why people with some level of clarity have stepped aside to find the stillness and awareness necessary for understanding a situation and doing what is appropriate. For some that moving away, however temporary, is absolutely necessary, so that can not only see but see through situation. It is such people who can give leadership in situation where others run in fear or act in fear and end up creating panic.

When in the midst of a difficult situation, someone who is fearless, can step aside and speak or act with clarity become leaders. People flock to them or wait for their guidance. This is what we look for in times of crises and when do not know what the right course of action would be.

Posted by: awarenessarc | October 23, 2008

IT'S AN INSIDE JOB

We were all quite happily talking about global warming until recently and were hardly thinking of an impending global financial meltdown. But here it is, and we seem to be rather clueless about the dimensions of the problems as well as a way out of this.

Our first impulse in difficult situations is to look outside for answers. When our car gives us trouble, we would obviously take it to a mechanic. When we have an electrical problem or some serious maintenance problems at home, we call in those who can fix them. That is just as well because only a few of us may have the expertise for such jobs. For the rest of us, God help those who try to help themselves.

Quite predictably, in the financial crisis too we look for answers from experts. We turn on the television sets, read newspapers, we listen to consultants and commentators. This time there seems to be less certainty in their opinions. It seems they too are rather unsure of the dimensions of the problem, and quite clueless about the way out of the crisis. They haven’t been quite able to disguise all this. Anyway, they are doing something, and that should restore ‘confidence’ and ‘sentiments’. We hear comments of some observers about the experts who are offering their solutions but who are also part of the problem, and some of them directly or indirectly players in the game that created the mess. In any case in critical times, we need to, though we may not, question the wisdom of experts and approach the situation with a Zen mind . Our time tested approaches and answers may in fact lead us to fail in this one. J. Paul Getty put it aptly: “In times of rapid change, experience may be your worst enemy.”

Even as we search for answers and solutions to the problem we are facing, there is another urgent question, and one that we may not easily ask. It may take a while for the situation to be clear and the economies of nations to be back on track. What about the fear and anxiety, the depression and anger and the insecurity that people are facing? What do we do and where do we go with that? In other words, as we find solution to the financial problem, what do we do with our suffering?

Predictably, we look outside for solutions for what is happening within us. We have always done it that way. The first line of defence may be trying to forget it through intoxication of various types. Even our Stone Age ancestors did that, so much so that that stone age was not only about implements but also the supplements; they were in fact stoned too.  They didn’t have television for entertainment, but we surely are not the original inventors of distractions. Besides we have from time immemorial turned to experts like the priest, the shaman, the therapist, who know the answers and we have searched the scriptures. We have done everything that can shift the focus off our pain.

A major cause of disillusionment, and one that in fact is a point of grace, is the realization that when it comes to solutions to life’s most important problems others may give us hints, they can point their fingers in a given direction, but it is ours to look and it is ours to find. If we have learned one thing along the way, it may be this, nobody can take away our troubles and make us happy or give us peace. As long as we are looking outside for answers, we are only postponing the inward journey where alone we find what we are looking for.

Interestingly, we do not spontaneously seem to make this inward journey; we do that when we are hit hard by crises and when our experts also fail us. Then we are forced to look where we are least likely to look – inside ourselves. If the present crisis and the consequent difficulties have helped to bring us home to ourselves, they will have done us a major service. That way we may begin to live from the inside and discover that happiness is always an inside job.

Posted by: awarenessarc | October 23, 2008

IT’S AN INSIDE JOB

We were all quite happily talking about global warming until recently and were hardly thinking of an impending global financial meltdown. But here it is, and we seem to be rather clueless about the dimensions of the problems as well as a way out of this.

Our first impulse in difficult situations is to look outside for answers. When our car gives us trouble, we would obviously take it to a mechanic. When we have an electrical problem or some serious maintenance problems at home, we call in those who can fix them. That is just as well because only a few of us may have the expertise for such jobs. For the rest of us, God help those who try to help themselves.

Quite predictably, in the financial crisis too we look for answers from experts. We turn on the television sets, read newspapers, we listen to consultants and commentators. This time there seems to be less certainty in their opinions. It seems they too are rather unsure of the dimensions of the problem, and quite clueless about the way out of the crisis. They haven’t been quite able to disguise all this. Anyway, they are doing something, and that should restore ‘confidence’ and ‘sentiments’. We hear comments of some observers about the experts who are offering their solutions but who are also part of the problem, and some of them directly or indirectly players in the game that created the mess. In any case in critical times, we need to, though we may not, question the wisdom of experts and approach the situation with a Zen mind . Our time tested approaches and answers may in fact lead us to fail in this one. J. Paul Getty put it aptly: “In times of rapid change, experience may be your worst enemy.”

Even as we search for answers and solutions to the problem we are facing, there is another urgent question, and one that we may not easily ask. It may take a while for the situation to be clear and the economies of nations to be back on track. What about the fear and anxiety, the depression and anger and the insecurity that people are facing? What do we do and where do we go with that? In other words, as we find solution to the financial problem, what do we do with our suffering?

Predictably, we look outside for solutions for what is happening within us. We have always done it that way. The first line of defence may be trying to forget it through intoxication of various types. Even our Stone Age ancestors did that, so much so that that stone age was not only about implements but also the supplements; they were in fact stoned too.  They didn’t have television for entertainment, but we surely are not the original inventors of distractions. Besides we have from time immemorial turned to experts like the priest, the shaman, the therapist, who know the answers and we have searched the scriptures. We have done everything that can shift the focus off our pain.

A major cause of disillusionment, and one that in fact is a point of grace, is the realization that when it comes to solutions to life’s most important problems others may give us hints, they can point their fingers in a given direction, but it is ours to look and it is ours to find. If we have learned one thing along the way, it may be this, nobody can take away our troubles and make us happy or give us peace. As long as we are looking outside for answers, we are only postponing the inward journey where alone we find what we are looking for.

Interestingly, we do not spontaneously seem to make this inward journey; we do that when we are hit hard by crises and when our experts also fail us. Then we are forced to look where we are least likely to look – inside ourselves. If the present crisis and the consequent difficulties have helped to bring us home to ourselves, they will have done us a major service. That way we may begin to live from the inside and discover that happiness is always an inside job.

Posted by: awarenessarc | October 10, 2008

IS THIS WHERE I WISH TO BE?

Not long ago RTE Guide carried a brief report of a talk by Robin Sharma in Dublin. The well known author referred to a meeting he had with one of Asia’s top CEOs. Sharma asked him what the secret of his outrageous success was. The CEO smiled and said: “I make the time to think.”

That man of considerable wealth apparently spends at least 45 minutes each morning with his eyes closed, deep in reflection. He is not praying or meditating but thinking. He is thinking about himself, his life and the direction he is taking in his life.

Impressed with what he heard, Sharma says: “Few things are as disappointing as investing all your time, energy and potential climbing a mountain only to find – once you are at the top – that you climbed the wrong mountain. Thinking and reflecting ensure that you are on the right mountain.”

For leaders, business men and women, and busy people everywhere, there is one thing that is most beneficial and necessary: time to be alone, space for self-reflection. For most of them there is one thing that is most difficult to do: to be alone, to be silent, and to do quiet self-reflection. They share with neurotics everywhere a difficulty in being quiet and silent. Many of them pay a heavy price for it in an unhealthy lifestyle, troubled relationships, increased stress, and misplaced priorities.

A simple question to ask oneself at any significant time, perhaps every day, is: Is this where I wish to be in my life?

Posted by: awarenessarc | September 1, 2008

METHOD IN AWARENESS

The change business is a multi-billion dollar industry. Leave aside the cosmetic business, weight reduction programmes and so on for a moment. Consider only the ones that promise to take away suffering and give us peace, remove our neuroses and replace it with self-actualization, or move people from a painful inner state to a desired another. Psychotherapy, spirituality, religions and numerous other systems and practices make various offers and claims. Among them the most popular ones are the quick fixes, the ones that offer magical cures. If a method can be found that could in a few steps offer us salvation, enlightenment, satori, nirvana, we would all be happy. Most of us are on the look out for the holy grail of instant, painless, magical change.

There is an undying fascination for the miraculous and magical. Even in a field like psychology, tricks and techniques serve a purpose. They are not only expected to hasten the desired state, they offer you something you can actually do to bring it about. So you have a handle on the method. And you get there without having any need to take a look at yourself. You do not have to face the truth about yourself.

Most of these approaches age quickly and make way for new ones. Or they appear dressed as new when the allure of novelty and popularity subsides. They have to fulfil two important conditions: they should address a contemporary need, and they could be easy to sell in bulk. That is The Secret of success. They give you what you are looking for; you only have to desire the state or object that you are looking for. You take what you want, you do not have to give anything back. A major part of the Secret of success is that it does not require a personal investment and responsibility, a wholesome examination of one’s life and actions.

“The trouble with Awareness,” a workshop participant said, “is that there are no concrete steps by which I can get it.” That was reflected in the clamour of the many when Moses came down from the mountaintop: “We need a golden calf!

At the end of a retreat for CEOs, one of them lamented, “It’s slow burn!” He’s right, slow burn indeed! It can be slow, like opening one’s eyes and seeing. And he’s wrong. Awareness is the quickest, easiest and surest way to change. It is as quick as opening one’s eyes and seeing.

Posted by: awarenessarc | August 20, 2008

CHANGES BRING ENDINGS

Changes are exciting when they are along expected or desirable lines. But they don’t always do. Life doesn’t follow our own well written script where everything happens at the “right” time, where  nothing goes wrong and we live happily ever after.

Changes always call for some readjustments. What is most difficult is that they come with endings. An illness is the end of good health. A bereavement is the end of a relationship. The break up of the relationship with someone you were married to for several years has ended. It may have been a torture to live with the person, but now you may be lonely without them. An economic downturn is the end of an era of prosperity and may lead to loss of job and financial security. If you have begun to notice signs of aging such as wrinkles, gray hair, no hair, slowness of pace, poor learning or retention, loss of memory or faculties, change has come home to you. It is no longer an external event. Depending on your culture and traditions, age and the loss of youthfulness could cast some doubts on your social acceptability and the respect of others.

Consider the sure ground of beliefs that once sustained you through life’s ups and downs. What if they are called into question and you are no longer sure as you used to be?

Changes inevitably bring crises and challenges. When something ends, we grieve. If we have the resources to deal with the changes that confront us, we can make a breakthrough. If our perceived ability to handle life’s changes is low, we end up suffering greatly.

Much depends on the attitudes with which we face the changes that occur in life. We have little choice over what happens. But we do have some choice in the attitude we take towards what happens. That usually makes the difference between a breakdown and a breakthrough, between happiness and misery, and between inner strength and defeatism.

The greatest gift of Awareness in times of change is the passage through life’s changes with freedom and equanimity.

Posted by: awarenessarc | August 8, 2008

LIFE CHANGES

We live in a time of tremendous changes. The extent, type and pace of change are breathtaking as well as terrifying. There are the familiar stages and changes of life – birth, growing up, marriage, childbirth, aging, dying – and the common themes of distance, separation, break up of relationships, career changes, unemployment, relocation, illnesses or changes in fortune. While all these involve endings, grieving and letting go, we also find ways of coping with them and finding new beginnings.

These changes create challenges that we all have to face as they bring opportunities for re-birth in our lives. Some of us are overwhelmed by them while others ride the waves with varying degrees of courage and inner strength. But all of us are the products of these experiences.

The changes in recent decades are in many ways different from earlier ages. The extent of change is such that nearly every area of life is affected. Some of the factors that brought some security, constancy and firm ground in the midst of changes included family, social structure, religion or a firm belief system. What if even they change beyond recognition, are called into question and no longer provide sure succour? Add to these the changes in science, technology, communications, climate patterns, environment, economics, international relations and we begin to see the immensity of these changes.

And if with these we consider the rapidity of these changes, we will understand that humanity may well be  facing its greatest challenge yet. The kind of changes that used to take centuries seem to be packed into a life time or less now.

It is no wonder then that there is so much confusion and pain in the world today. Even if we go through these as families, groups or communities, we still suffer as individuals.  The remedies we have applied until now are hardly working and no sure way is yet in sight.

Posted by: awarenessarc | July 3, 2008

IF IT’S BAD NEWS, PLEASE DON’T TELL ME

A seventy-five year old man was as unconscious of his age as an eighteen year old. He came home one cold day muddy up to his knees. His grand daughter was concerned. He explained, “I was crossing the creek to see about the cow. Earlier I could jump it clear and easy but now every damn time I try, I land in the middle. I guess I hadn’t noticed the creek getting wider.”

There is always something the matter with reality, not oneself. Human beings are quite inventive when it comes to avoiding facts. We can turn off the television that brings bad news. We might stop reading the news paper that reports the harmful effects of our habits like smoking. We can justify our mistakes and use make up for signs of aging. Or we might invent creative explanations for our condition like the overweight woman who stepped off the weighing scale and commented: “According to this height and weight chart, I should be two feet taller.”

In confrontations between human beings and truth, it is truth that usually gets a bloody nose.

We may know people who change their therapists who bring them face to face with what they don’t like to see or avoid friends who challenge them. We know people who say, “If it’s bad news, please don’t tell me.” Rarely do we find someone who would wish not to be spared the truth even if it hurts and then stand by that commitment.

It is not our fault that we are so. It is just that we are fearful. We can hardly anticipate the freedom we would experience once we face what may be hurtful, unpleasant or scary. That may sound unrealistic and unreachable for ordinary mortals. But the gift for those who are awake and aware is the freedom that awareness brings.

Posted by: awarenessarc | June 24, 2008

AWARENESS IS ALIVENESS

A tourist visiting a place of breathtaking beauty makes frantic efforts to capture every moment and every scene on his camera. He spends all his time shooting everything he sees, and from various angles, knowing that it is a rare opportunity that may never come again. And he hopes to review, edit and enjoy the pictures at leisure. His efforts give him many images but not the experience.

This is indeed a parable of the way most of us live. If there is one thing that we desperately seek in life, it is the experience of living, of happiness, of connecting with the world and of making contact with people. We can be happy and find life in its fullness with all its richness, and its wonder, if we allow the world to bring us to our senses.

We would all agree that the photograph of a loaf of bread does not satisfy our hunger. But that has not stopped us from trying. So we would turn to religions that give us images of God, salvation, enlightenment and so on. There is no use blaming them, because that is how far they can take us. They cannot give us the real thing. Media bring us images of life that inform and entertain, and sounds and songs that stimulate. Technology gives amazing possibilities of digitalizing life and presenting it in pictures and sounds  – a camera or video to capture them, books and  media to record them – and turns life into a virtual spectator game. We end up bartering images for reality, beliefs for experience, and answers instead of questions and doubts. There is some truth in Pablo Picasso’s comment: “Computers are useless. They can only give us answers.” And it can be extended much else in life.

We can not be happy and content in this way of life. Our bodies lose their energy and vitality, our senses cry out in deprivation and seek numerous ways of artificial stimulation in drugs, alcohol and thrills. Some of us take to meditation or retire to our minds seeking consolation in philosophy and the search for meaning. But it is only our contact with reality, the experience of aliveness, that will really satisfy us. This is awareness.

We enjoy the aliveness of little children, their curiosity and openness, their freshness and enjoyment of life. We are easily surprised by the presence of these qualities in some grown up people we may be privileged to meet. There is brightness in their eyes. Their hearts have not been hardened by pain, fear and bitterness, so they are able to feel the vast variety of human emotions. They are open to life and people, their minds are still uncluttered by opinions and theories. They are available to life. And they have time.

If we have lost our contact with life, it is possible for us to rediscover life. We can learn to be present, to open our eyes and live in happiness in the midst of all happenings and challenges. This is all we are looking for in life. Joseph Campbell said it beautifully, “People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life … I think that what we’re really seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our innermost being and reality, so that we can actually feel the rapture of being alive.”

Posted by: awarenessarc | June 18, 2008

DEAD PEOPLE’S SOCIETY

In some of his conferences, Tony de Mello would most unflatteringly tell his listeners: “Most human beings are already dead. Some people are 3/4 dead, getting decomposed. In fact they already stink.” Then looking at the shocked expression on some of the faces, he would continue, “I know it is a hard thing to say to people. But the proposition stays:‘You are dead!”

He would point to the signs of deadness all around us and in us. When we are alive, we have our senses available and functioning optimally. We are well equipped to live in the world and experience the sights, colours, sounds, tastes, smells and textures and learn, relate, communicate, and avoid dangers. Most of us, however, go through life with our senses switched off and residing in our minds. It is like being on permanent leave of absence from one’s own body.

As little children we could see and hear and touch and taste in simple ways. The world of magic, of fairy tales, and the of richness of imagination could coexist with the senses working fully. Unfortunately a major part of growing up and getting educated involves losing contact with our senses. We learn to deny the senses and head to our minds. The price of knowledge is the loss of innocence. The senses are straightforward but the mind is cunning, and can distort and dress up reality. The senses can give valuable information but can be overruled by the mind. Unfortunately education that leads to sensory poverty and the loss of imagination is the greatest destroyer of children.

Another mark of deadness is in our emotional life. Many of us are out of touch with our feelings, a key to our experience of the world and our relationship with others. Our hearts are often hardened by painful experiences and we try to protect ourselves in different ways, but the habit of the heart closes the door to our feelings which deprives us of the richness of life. So in course of time we are so out of touch with our emotional world that we do not even know what we feel. That is being dead.

Religions and cultures have had a lot of trouble dealing with the vitality of people and have sought to curtail, control and kill it. People who are alive are a challenge to any society. They are fearless, they ask questions, they are a threat as they highlight our own deadness. It is not surprising that most people who take religion and even spirituality seriously murder themselves in some ways or consider their mission to snuff out the life in others, end up inhabiting their own dead bodies. And they forget to laugh, to play and to enjoy their lives.

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